The outcomes of enchanted mistletoe
by Laura 001
Summary: Someone has placed enchanted mistletoe around Hogwarts. Who will get caught underneath? Christmas fluff for you all.


**Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter etc, please don't sue me!**

 **Warnings:** AU, adult themes, some violence.

Prompt for Hogwarts House Challenge - the Quidditch Pitch: Thunderstorm

 **A/N: A Christmas present for you all - happy reading XD**

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Luna skipped directly down the centre of the stone corridor with a serene smile, the shoes tapping lightly on the stones as she travelled. She was looking forward to tonight's feast; the Glittering Flitterbugs had indicated that the meal would include some rare treats which she was looking forward to enjoying.

The gleam of the torches kept the inky darkness at bay and created amusing shadows on the walls that she watched and pondered as she passed by, diligently ignoring the hanging mistletoe and the students who skittered left and right as they themselves tried to avoid the charmed bunches of greenery.

While Luna had no desire to be caught under the leafy substance that, no doubt, hid Nargles: she wasn't so lacking in confidence as to care what the observers thought of her trapped underneath with another. Besides, the shadows were far more interesting to concentrate upon.

Logically, there were really only two outcomes when caught under enchanted mistletoe with someone; either the other person refused to kiss her and took the consequences instead (having your skin turn red and your hair shine green for twenty-four hours), or they tried to grope her. Neither were desirable, nor did she think it appropriate for the school to allow the hanging of such options, but since the decorations and their hostages couldn't harm her unless she allowed it, then she would skip along as always.

'Sod it!' a male shouted from around the corner.

Skipping into the new corridor, Luna quirked her lips when she saw Harry Potter was stuck under the hanging item of potential awkwardness with his ex-girlfriend Cho Chang.

It was a prickly situation for him; Cho was too vain not to kiss him. Harry, however, well Harry would had to have green hair as his girlfriend Ginny Weasley would be furious if he didn't avoid the kiss. Of course, the Slytherins had harassed him quite diligently the last time he had sported green hair, had even made up a song - similar to Ginny's first year Valentine - which had humiliated his girlfriend thoroughly; if he sported the green hair again, the humiliation would likely continue.

Luna paused and tilted her head, waiting to see the outcome with slow blinking eyes.

Harry glanced around nervously and shifted his weight. Harry's eyes slipped right passed her, like he hadn't even seen her. Not a rare occurrence, she was a bit like thestrals in that way.

Swaying from side to side as he clenched and unclenched his fingers, while Cho just waited with a tapping foot. Harry finally allowed his shoulders to slump.

'Not a word,' his muttered echoed down the hard corridor, bouncing of the stone very effectively, and then he leaned down and connected with Cho's pouty lips.

 _Hmm, poor Ginny – hopefully there are Nargles in_ _that_ _particular bunch… although from the lack of movement, I doubt it._

Luna continued on her way, skipping by Harry and Cho – who were still locked at the lips with their arms slowly starting to skim around the other's body.

Down two moving staircases and along four more corridors, Luna came across another pair. Pansy Parkinson and Greg Goyle.

'Step back,' Pansy ordered the boy; demanding he not kiss her and take the consequences on himself.

Goyle, look of fear in his wide eyes, shook his head.

'Now!' Pansy commanded loudly.

Goyle shook his head again as he stared unblinkingly at the Slytherin witch.

The pretty girl stamped her foot and snarled, her skirt swaying slightly with the movement and making her look more enchanting than repellent. Goyle's eyes glazed over.

'I mean it,' the witch snapped icily.

Goyle jolted his upper body backwards, before straightening his shoulders and lifting his chin. He shook his head again.

Pansy's eyes glared brutally at her disobliging housemate and her muscles tensed. She shot her arms out suddenly and shoved Goyle brutally from under the mistletoe. The effect was immediate; Goyle turned red and green.

Pansy smirked at the boy and then flounced away.

 _Well, that's another outcome, I suppose. Quite Slytherin to make the other person take the consequences for you._

Skipping by Goyle, she patted his shoulder sympathetically as she passed his stunned, lumbering form.

Almost at her destination, she came across Hermione and Ron. The two were also stuck under a dangling bunch of mistletoe, and they were fighting.

 _I do wish they would get over it and just admit they like each other – it is the intelligent thing to do… that said, Ronald is known more for his strategy abilities rather than his intelligence._

She passed the two disinterestedly. Either they would fight for the next thirty minutes and in their anger admit their feelings and kiss, or they would fight for the next thirty minutes and something cutting would be said that would cause the other to accept the consequences and drive the wedge in deeper.

Nearing the Great Hall, Luna speed up; the wafting aroma of the treats was delicious. Skipping through the doorway, she was brought to a sudden freeze.

 _Mistletoe. I guess it was bound to happen eventually._

Looking upwards, she eyed the suspended bunch, trying to find the tell-tale movement of Nargles.

 _Hmm, I can't see any – but they are brilliant at hiding._

'Evening, Lovegood,' drawled the student she was stuck in the barrier with.

'Not a good evening, Draco?'

She saw him cast a look towards the cloudy enchanted sky. 'Does that thunderstorm look good?'

Luna shrugged. 'I like clouds, they make the sky beautiful; they add contrast and colour and bring rain and snow. So what's it going to be?'

'What are my options?'

'Groping, the consequences, or Pansy's preference - shoving out of the circle.'

'She is an excellent Slytherin. Who did she overthrow?'

'Goyle – poor boy looked quite disappointed.'

'Well he has lusted after her for a while now.'

'So your selection?'

'I prefer option four.'

'There is no option four.'

'Slytherin – I make my own.'

'Which is?'

Draco leaned down and firmly pressed his soft, warm lips to her own. Luna leaned up into the kiss, a small smile on her lips.

 _Mm, how delightful._

The two drew apart and Draco stepped backwards, giving her a slight bow that was punctuated by a subtle wink.

She gracefully slid passed him with her smile still in place, whispering, 'I like option four.'

'So do I,' he murmured as she brushed by, and then he continued his exist of the hall.

Luna watched him leave and then found a seat at the Ravenclaw table. Her fellow students were looking at her with round eyes.

Glancing around the rest of hall, she noticed they were also staring at her with agape mouths.

'Something the matter?' she asked as she selected food to put on her plate.

'You just snogged Draco Malfoy,' the boy sitting opposite her gasped.

'Obviously,' Luna replied, buttering some pumpkin Yorkshire pudding.

 _Excellent treats tonight, I will have to thank the Glittering Flutterbugs for their information – it would have been a shame to have eaten the usual food in the Kitchens instead._

'Hardly a snog, a Ravenclaw should know the definition of a word before ustalising it,' another countered.

'Kissed then,' the first boy amended.

'And?' Luna asked, and then took a bite.

'You're the only one his has kissed.'

She swallowed the mouthful. 'And?'

'You're loony!'

'Luna, actually,' she replied nonchalantly, taking another taste.

'But why would he kiss you?' the boy ask incredulously.

'I generally thought that's what you did.'

'Huh?' another student asked bemused.

'When dating.'

'Who's dating?'

'Draco and I, of course,' she said tranquilly to the almost silent Great Hall.

A fork clattered to the ground, metal panging as it hit the stone floor.

'You're dating Drakey,' came a strangled yelp from Pansy, who'd just walked into the hall doorway.

'No. I'm dating Draco,' Luna said as she looked at the Slytherin girl and started playing with a bracelet that Draco had given her as a birthday gift.

'That's what I said,' Pansy snarled. 'And why do you have that!'

'This?' Luna asked, raising her wrist.

'Yes,' Pansy spat. 'That's a Black family heirloom.'

'I know, Draco gave it to me for my birthday.'

The Slytherin table took an intake of breath in unison, almost making it sound like the table had a giant snake hidden underneath.

Luna smiled at Pansy, ignoring the Slytherins who were now realising the significance of their prince's relationship with the Ravenclaw they had teased mercilessly. 'I think the Nargles in that bunch of mistletoe may be effecting you, Pansy - it might be best if you move.'

'I'll move when I'm good and ready,' Pansy snapped, unmoving, glaring at Luna's wrist.

'If you prefer, but don't say I didn't warn you.'

Pansy stood and stared at her defiantly.

Luna continued to eat the delicious goodies for the next few minutes while watching the swirling clouds. Pansy ignored, despite her loud huffing.

Thump.

'Ouch, watch were you are going, you cretin!'

Luna turned towards the noise with the rest of the students and saw Ron Weasley by Pansy's side.

The Gryffindor boy looked pale and vaguely ill, his eyes raised at the ceiling. He was now stuck - again. With an angry girl - again. Under mistletoe - again.

 _Poor boy just has no luck in the ladies department – he should try men instead._

Behind him, a red and green Hermione appeared in the doorway, lips pursed tightly in a McGonagall-esk style.

 _Hmm, this should be interesting – is Ron going to display his emotional deficiencies to everyone?_

Pansy glared at the boy who was eyeing her speculatively. His eyes drifted back to Hermione, before becoming steely and fixing back on Pansy, his tongue darting out and sliding over his dry lips.

Pansy frowned at the action.

He leaned forward, lips puckered.

Pansy clenched her fist and knocked him out of the circle with a brutal left-hook.

Hermione gasped and immediately knelt next to a Ron who was promptly turning red and green.

'Never try to kiss an unwilling person,' with that parting remark, the angry Slytherin girl stormed from the Great Hall.

 _Does that count as an addition option, or should it fall under 'shoving'? Perhaps the Nargles will tell me their thoughts._

'Are you seriously not going to tell us when you started dating Draco Malfoy?' an exasperated Gryffindor girl asked from nearby.

'No,' Luna answered and then returned to her meal.

'Come on, Loony, spill,' the girl demanded.

Six jets of light shot passed Luna and collided with the demanding Gryffindor who toppled to the floor with a squeal.

'Her name is Luna,' a Slytherin enunciated clearly and firmly, wand held high. The Slytherin gave Luna a respectful nod that was echoed by all the senior students at the table of green.

 _Hmm, I'll miss figuring out the riddles about where my belongings are. Still, Draco will be pleased._

'Five points to Slytherin for the show of unity in defending a student outside their house,' Headmaster Dumbledore said from the teacher's table, 'Ms Granger, perhaps you could take your two Gryffindor housemates to the Hospital Wing. Now, I think that is enough dramatics for tonight, everyone eat up and then off to bed; I'm sure you will have more entertainment tomorrow with the Unity Mistletoe, and I do hope you follow Mr Malfoy and Ms Lovegood's excellent example.'

THE END

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A/N: I hope the one-shot brought you some joy and amusement. As always, if you see an Oxford English mistakes, please PM me so I can fix them up. If you have a few free moments, please click the review button and tell me your thoughts XD


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